Why don’t you understand?? How communication styles and context can make or break managers.
Are there some people that are really easy to work with, yet others can be really challenging?
As actuaries, we have our technical training in common, but most of us need to interact with other people to effectively complete our work. There are subtle (and sometimes obvious!) differences in the way we approach our work, including whether we prefer to work independently or collaboratively, or like having clear instructions or being able to design our own approach. Great leaders can create high performing actuarial teams by understanding their own communications styles and those of their team.
How you communicate matters
Last week my youngest daughter got her learner’s permit. If you’ve ever taught someone else to drive a car, you’ll know what I mean when I say those first few hours can involve elevated blood pressure and even tears! Having already taught her older three siblings to drive, I was prepared for this. However, I was surprised to find that after ten hours in the passenger’s seat there’s not a new grey hair in sight.
What’s different this time? I’d like to think that I’m just better at it(!), but I think the answer actually lies in communication styles and context.
The downside of misaligned communication in teams
Following on from my opening question, what is it like to work with those people who you find easy to work with? Typically, we are more engaged, more productive and less stressed when we are working in an environment where the interpersonal interactions feel easy.
Of course, the converse is true when we are working with others where the interpersonal interactions feel more challenging. This can happen when others have different communication styles and we don’t know how to bridge the difference between our styles. In these situations, we can feel frustrated with our colleagues, work might be less efficient and team engagement can be lower. In some cases this can lead to errors in technical work and staff turnover.
So how can we bridge differences in styles to allow high performing teams to be more engaged, productive and less stressed?
Four strategies for managers of high performing actuarial teams
1. Know your own style
There are lots of ways we can describe our communication styles, but essentially we are trying to understand what is similar and what is different about how you like to work and interact with others. You may have already done some work on personal or management styles before. There are many popular tools, including Myers Briggs[1], DiSC[2] and Life Styles Inventory (LSI)[3].
Common differences relate to whether people are more people- or task-focussed, and whether they prefer to talk or listen. You can plot these dimensions on two axes to derive four quadrants of communication styles. Remember that human nature is more continuous than discrete, so this model is a simplification to help illustrate some key differences in styles.
While most people exhibit traits in more than one quadrant, we often have one quadrant that feels more natural. Personally, I’m naturally task-focussed and I prefer to ask questions, so my communication style is typically in the “analytical / cautious” quadrant. However, I also really enjoy working with others so often exhibit “amiable / supportive” traits.
None of the four styles are “right” or “wrong”. Many of us naturally gravitate towards one or more of these styles (particularly under pressure!) and each of the four styles have a place in business.
2. Invest time to understand the styles of others you work with
Think about someone you find challenging to work or communicate with. There’s a good chance that the challenges stem from some key differences between each of your personal styles.
What if your communication style is more “listen” than “tell” focussed (i.e. amiable/supportive or analytical/cautious), but your boss has a different style – perhaps they are a driver/dominant style who is direct, decisive and focussed on results? When talking to your boss, you might find it helpful to stick to business, be specific and ask more “when” questions, e.g. “when do you need this?”. You might also find it helpful to avoid engaging in “chit chat” or making decisions for them. Of course everyone is different, and every scenario is different, but having a framework to work through these differences can be helpful.
3. Adapt your style
Actuary, Adviser and Facilitator Martin Mulcare is one actuary who I look up to when it comes to interpersonal communication. I asked Martin for tips on how to get your message across to someone with a different communication style.
““The simple principle is to adapt to their style - to the extent that I am comfortable in doing so. If they like diagrams, draw one for them. If they like to get to the point, be succinct. If they prefer detail, give them detail. If they like rapport, be friendly and remember what you have in common.””
So first, try to understand the other person’s style, then adapt your approach based on what you know about them. As a manager, it is your role to adapt your style when needed, don’t expect your team members how to adapt their styles for you.
Great leaders know how and when to adapt their communication styles to get the best from their teams.
4. Remember that context is important!
Have you ever found yourself suddenly finding it hard to communicate with someone you usually interact easily with? This can happen when one or both of you are under pressure.
It can help to know what happens to your communication style under pressure. For me, I become even more task focussed, and in my frustration and overwhelm I become more “tell” focussed rather than “listen” focussed. This puts me in the driver / dominant quadrant under pressure. While this style is useful in many situations – such as a crisis or urgent deadline – if I spend too much time in this communication style it can damage working relationships with my fellow analytical / cautious types. It also means that I might need to consciously do things like engaging in personal discussions and asking questions, which would normally come quite naturally when I’m more relaxed.
By knowing what happens to your communication style (and the styles of those around you) under pressure, it can be easier to continue to be productive and stay connected when the going gets tough.
Conclusion
At work and at home, interacting with other people who share our communication styles is often relatively easy. Being mindful differences in our styles, and how our styles tend to change under pressure can make it easier to navigate challenging times.
And as for the driving lessons? My daughter is naturally an amiable / supportive type, so when I’m relaxed I can match her style easily. However, under pressure I can become a dominant / driver (no pun intended) and start barking orders, which doesn’t go down well! Teaching the youngest of the family to drive is more relaxing, especially as there are not any younger siblings heckling from the backseat, so I can easily stay in my natural style and match her style reasonably effortlessly.
What’s your natural style, and is it different from those around you? How does this play out at work and at home?
In the Guardian Actuarial Leadership Program we use this four quadrant model to explore your own style, the styles of your team members and how you can adapt your style when communicating with people with other styles. Our next program launches in February, so get in touch here if you’d like to know more.
